Ms

Wanna know what I did on NYE? Course you do. If youre reading this, tis enough to evince you don’t have much else going on in your life and have to live vicariously through me. I don’t blame you. I have an appallingly bad life.

ANYWAY this years countdown was flawless and wonderful. I dressed to the nines in a slinky black dress which screamed “Im sexy but will burn you if you touch me but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t touch me because, you know, a bit of masochistic behaviour never hurt anyone. Haha. Which is a lie because ALL masochistic behaviour hurts. But take pleasure in the pain, baby, take pleasure in the pain” Can you imagine what a great dress it was that it could say so much? I arranged my hair in a neat little chignon, wore pearl ear studs and my NEW pair of 3 inch stilettos. I left with my family for the Ritz. We all looked good even Satan whom we forced into buying a new grey shirt, and TIT bought a new dress too. Collectively we looked disgustingly attractive. The Ritz looked gorgeous. I sat down and played “20 Questions” with my sister while downing the Moet and stuffing my beautiful face with salmon sashimi. Rest assured the two do not mix. At 1030pm my sister wanted to go home and I wanted to release some drunken energy. We shared a cab and I headed to Keppel Island for Prive and The Island Suites above where my adoring fans were waiting for me, forcing glasses of champagne and wine into my hands while cameras flashed repeatedly. I was introduced to a bunch of people whos names I largely do no recall. 0000am saw me standing on a balcony, overlooking the sea, in gorgeous tropical Singapore, fireworks, kisses on the cheek, ‘2008 can suck it!!’, more champagne, ‘I love you’s and just immense joy all around. I made a resolution at 1145pm 31 Dec 2008 which I promptly broke at 1203am 1 January 2009. At 1am we bounced off to an Irish pub for some incomprehensible reason. It was called Muddy Murphys, where we sat and chatted and sang and danced and drank till we were beyond merry and probably harbouring on petty violence. The Half Breed appeared at 3am in her pyjamas for some reason and sent me home while everyone else headed back to her place. I went through the usual routine of collapsing at the front door looking for my keys and dropping everything in the process, picking it up, dropping it again…and somehow landing in bed.

Totally kicks last years BUTT:

Wet. Fucking miserable. Frozen to the ground in torn boots on Embankment. Hands stuffed in pockets of my black pea coat because I lost my stupid gloves in Switzerland 3 days ago. Peering at the London Eye sceptically. Sober as the pope. In love with Mister S. Worried about exams.

Ahhhhh it was such a good night —–> my happy face. its true. i do lose all my hair and turn yello when im happy.  

IN OTHER NEWS:

I start a new job on Monday! Goodbye Satan! I need a new nick name for the new boss.