Ms

1. To fry and fertilise my eggs

2. To sit with me while i watch horror films, hold my hand and keep on telling me “Manisha there is a camera there. No no…nobody is going to come out of the tv and kill you. No, you wont die in 7 days if you watch this. yes im sure. because i watched this 5 years ago and im still alive. uhm…no Manisha, im not dead inside. Fine fine yes im a useless husband. Why are you giving me this gun? No im NOT going to blow  my brains out. because thats SUICIDE! You go to hell for that! What do you mean im going there ‘anyway”. Please dont cuss at me. I just said…Manisha…put the gun down. Where the fuck did you get a bazooka from?! ahhhhh noooooo…..!!!!”

3. To aleviate my trichophobia by unclogging drains.

4. To visit my mother once she becomes a paraplegic (because im going to break her legs after she tries to deny me my inheritance. it has to be done. its just the way…its just the way it is)

5. To help me destroy The Inheritance Threat and steal her beauty

6. To cook for me because i do not enjoy cooking

7. To carry me home from No.5 after my usual 10 martinis

8. To provide me with fruits of his loins so i can produce an heir for my REIGN OF TERROR as a a law-yah. (isnt this already at no.1)

9. To make me honey and ginger tea when i have a sore throat.

10. To throw petals at my feet whenever i walk into a room.

SEE…Men DO serve some purpose.